Just Give Me A Sign

Anything at all that'll let me know what you really think. Because as of right now, you're just leaving me to fall behind and I don't know what the hell is going on.

Licensed

Nigga.

Advice

Last night, a couple of the boys came up with one of the cleanest pieces of advice that I would want to hear:

"Think of it like this, make this your bottom. Cause when your at the bottom, you aint got nothing to lose. The only way to go is up."

Good shit to hear. I also found an affinity to that song Missing you by Trey Songz. Probably only because it practically expresses how Ive been feeling.

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"I dont wanna hear what I think you're gonna say
And I know it can't be good from the look that's on your face
And I can't believe that it's too late
Don't tell me it's over

I can tell that it's been hurting you, I see it in your eyes
It's the first time that I'm feeling that I'm about to die
Just say anything but goodbye
Don't tell me it's over"

I really did change. Everything I say is and will always be true. All Im asking for is a chance with you. I know i did wrong in the past and I deeply regret it. I truly miss you. I truly love you with everything that I am. You mean the world to me. You are the world to me. I love you.

Today.

Today was filled with emotion. I myself am filled with many emotions. Sorrow, Doubt, Fear, etc. I honestly dont know whats going on anymore. But I wont quit. Because you mean the world to me. You are the one that I love with all my heart. To make you happy is all I can ever want. And I know for sure that I am certainly not wasting my time because this time being connected to you has been bringing me so much joy. Even if Im hurt in the end, your happiness could be the greatest reward for the effort I put in. I love you with everything I am, so please dont leave me with nothing but memories.

Today was also the first day of the "Every 15 Minutes" program. Its about drunk driving and its consequences. Well it made my day even worse. As soon as the cop came into the classroom, the thought of my homie Tinh rushed into my mind. Watching the program, I could imagine how it was for Tinh. A car crash ending the life of a friend and cutting his life short. I started to reminisce about how we chilled and talked. Rest In Peace Tinh. Your in a better place now as heaven has added a new family member.

Blank.

Ive been really catching myself staring off with a blank face nowadays. I dont know...I guess I just reminisce a bit too much. But I just cant help it you know? The same scenes keep popping up in my head like a messed up movie projector or anime re-runs. I dont mind though since they give me some type of emotion to feel. Those memories were either so great that they'd give me a fatass grin, or so bad that I would stay quiet for a good while. Nonetheless, I never want to let go, cause maybe those memories are all I have left now.

Last Night

So umm I had this dream last night. And honestly, I was really happy. Like unbelieveablely happy. From what I remember, it kinda seemed like I walked down one of the roads mentioned in my previous blog. I dont know if it was a sign or if I was just heavily thinking about it before i fell asleep. But whatever it was, I seemed really happy. I wonder if that dream, would actually become a reality.

Lately...

Havent blogged in a quick minute so I decided to pop back in. So heres an update. Honestly, Ive been in a real confused state. And it mainly has to do with this situation that I got myself in concerning a couple of people. I just dont know what to do anymore. Everytime I feel confident enough to do what I want to do, something always comes in and turns me around. I know what I wanna do, I just dont know when or even if I should do it. Its kinda like knowing you're on the right track, but not sure if its the right train. Im suck at a fork road where there are only two real results, and I just dont know which way to walk...

2008 so far

ehhh nothing really changed

haha